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Wizard School Issue #4 Page #6

by admin on May 30, 2012 at 12:01 am
  • Wizard School

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Discussion (72) ¬

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  1. Wenthral
    Wenthral
    May 30, 2012 at 12:38 am | # | Reply

    Dibs on the short chubby one!

    Fwup! (translation: I get the goat!)

    • DanMan
      DanMan
      May 30, 2012 at 2:42 am | # | Reply

      Yeah….you notice that for the first time ever goatie is keeping a low profile.

      • Dusty White
        Dusty White
        May 30, 2012 at 3:54 am | # | Reply

        . . . dunno . . . me thinks Goatsie is so happy he can’t speak. That gleam in his eye is telling.

        • Wackadoodle
          Wackadoodle
          May 30, 2012 at 10:06 pm | # | Reply

          With white trash comes meth!

          • Zebalien
            Zebalien
            May 30, 2012 at 10:53 pm | #

            As a white trash redneck, I respectfully disagree. With our status come weed and various paint thinners. Where would we get money for meth?

          • DanMan
            DanMan
            May 31, 2012 at 3:21 pm | #

            I admire your frugal make-do attitude Zebalien. Your my kind of man.

        • Stampers Saverem
          Stampers Saverem
          June 1, 2012 at 9:40 am | # | Reply

          Being a goat, he probably feels right at home….

    • tootiredtothink
      tootiredtothink
      May 30, 2012 at 11:16 pm | # | Reply

      You make the meth you don’t buy it.

      • Stampers Saverem
        Stampers Saverem
        June 1, 2012 at 9:41 am | # | Reply

        If they’re Wizards, they can just conjure meth if they want it that bad–

        And blow up a trailer or two just for the fireworks

  2. Biblioholic
    Biblioholic
    May 30, 2012 at 12:48 am | # | Reply

    What a fine vintage, dragon piss must be.

    • Chariset
      Chariset
      May 30, 2012 at 1:20 am | # | Reply

      Bottled at the source!

      • yaysalt
        yaysalt
        May 30, 2012 at 4:38 am | # | Reply

        The point is, all the dragons are dead. That’s *old* dragon pee.

        • Anonymous
          Anonymous
          May 30, 2012 at 7:08 am | # | Reply

          Just as well. The “New Piss” marketing ploy was a terrible idea anyway (hooray 80′s pop culture!)

          • Heitert3
            Heitert3
            May 30, 2012 at 7:08 am | #

            ^^ sorry, my name vanished again. I’m not really anonymous.

          • Tempest8008
            Tempest8008
            May 30, 2012 at 10:01 am | #

            In which case, +1 to Heitert3 for the excellent New Coke reference…

          • Stampers Saverem
            Stampers Saverem
            June 1, 2012 at 9:42 am | #

            *Laughs Herself Silly (Okay, Silli-ER) at Clever Coke Reference*

    • nobodys
      nobodys
      May 31, 2012 at 12:05 pm | # | Reply

      Fuck Dragon Piss…Pabst Blue Ribbon!

      • Stampers Saverem
        Stampers Saverem
        June 1, 2012 at 9:43 am | # | Reply

        All tastes like piss to me….

        • xaviara
          xaviara
          June 1, 2012 at 8:32 pm | # | Reply

          excssssssssept pabssssst blue ribbon tassssstessss like pissssssssssss

  3. Ulf
    Ulf
    May 30, 2012 at 1:20 am | # | Reply

    FWUP.

  4. mrq
    mrq
    May 30, 2012 at 3:54 am | # | Reply

    You know, this comic is getting better and better. I just can’t wait for more! (also I can’t wait for stoner-wizards)

    • Elfguy
      Elfguy
      May 31, 2012 at 8:36 am | # | Reply

      You Mean Hairy Pothead, and the Sorcerer, Stoned?

      • Zebalien
        Zebalien
        May 31, 2012 at 6:22 pm | # | Reply

        I see what you did there!
        Also, in the most refined language of the people, Engrish; olz.

      • Stampers Saverem
        Stampers Saverem
        June 1, 2012 at 9:43 am | # | Reply

        Good one, Elfguy!

  5. Dusty White
    Dusty White
    May 30, 2012 at 3:55 am | # | Reply

    Poor Merrill.

    • mrq
      mrq
      May 30, 2012 at 4:02 am | # | Reply

      Don’t worry. They only inbreed to keep their blood-line clear. I’m sure they’ll leave him alone… Probably…

      • psYchOTiChicKen
        psYchOTiChicKen
        May 30, 2012 at 11:54 pm | # | Reply

        Inbreeding requires that the females breed in. The males could breed in and out. Moreover, Merrill is unlikely to provide offspring…

    • LaughingTarget
      LaughingTarget
      May 30, 2012 at 4:09 am | # | Reply

      And Celeste looks upset she’s being ignored.

      • OBVIATOR
        OBVIATOR
        May 30, 2012 at 7:23 am | # | Reply

        no, no. They’re just saving her for Grandpa.

        • Jago of the 7 knives
          Jago of the 7 knives
          May 30, 2012 at 8:01 am | # | Reply

          Poor Grandpa!

      • Jago of the 7 knives
        Jago of the 7 knives
        May 30, 2012 at 9:10 am | # | Reply

        Celeste should be thankful she is being ignored. She will be in so much trouble if FWUP actually stands for: “Female Willingly Us Pregnate”, which if really scary, cause if you noticed all four panels, there is not one female member of the family drinking Dragon Piss beer. Unless all them hillbilly wizards are actually Hermaphrodites, which explains the inbreeding with no females present. Only guys equipped with two s*x organs to begin with…

        • Virulent Vyrient
          Virulent Vyrient
          May 30, 2012 at 6:09 pm | # | Reply

          I wouldn’t go betting on Sumter’s gender yet.

  6. Jago of the 7 knives
    Jago of the 7 knives
    May 30, 2012 at 5:28 am | # | Reply

    “A slight bit of intermarriage” is definitely the number one understatement in this here comic book thus far! Also, if I were Graham or Vorn, I would be wary of special-speak or unknown acronyms being banded around in front of me by men who seems to revel in committing man-rape. I mean FWUP? FWUP could simply be code for – Fresh White Useful Pansies! Which also translates to “Don’t drop the soap in the shower room!”

    I agree with Dusty White. Poor Merril. If Merril isn’t careful, he’ll likely lose his virginity not only against his will, but in some form that will make him swear off sex for the rest of his life!

    • Heitert3
      Heitert3
      May 30, 2012 at 7:16 am | # | Reply

      I sort of assumed the first two letters in FWUP stood for “F—ing Wizards.” Not sure about the rest though.

      • Jago of the 7 knives
        Jago of the 7 knives
        May 30, 2012 at 8:52 am | # | Reply

        Yup, FWUP could also mean F*****g Wizard Useless People. Don’t we just love guessing games? A million zlotys to the correct translation of this mysterious acronym I will give!

        • Drgnkght
          Drgnkght
          June 1, 2012 at 5:06 pm | # | Reply

          It might just mean “smurf”.

      • Chariset
        Chariset
        May 30, 2012 at 10:35 am | # | Reply

        Judging by the way he’s pointing in the last panel, it probably means “Look over there.”

    • Stampers Saverem
      Stampers Saverem
      June 1, 2012 at 9:44 am | # | Reply

      Either way, I think it may be time to run screaming into the night

  7. jsc
    jsc
    May 30, 2012 at 5:35 am | # | Reply

    -sniff-

    My- my people!

  8. Ragingagnostic
    Ragingagnostic
    May 30, 2012 at 8:47 am | # | Reply

    The two quiet pimply ones pawing the fat boy definitely have me nervous. Chubby chasers are a menace.

    • Jago of the 7 knives
      Jago of the 7 knives
      May 30, 2012 at 9:02 am | # | Reply

      Any normal person, regardless of sex, age, creed, sexual orientation or education will-if they find themselves sandwiched between two giant, behemoth looking-beer smelling, hairy individuals who apparently have never used toothpaste or know what soap is or have ever taken a decent bath and looks at you with bedroom eyes yelling buttf**k and sodomy-will definitely become a nervous wreck and would probably think of committing suicide in the next ten seconds before his imagined nightmare becomes a reality.

      Alas, Merril does not look like he knows anything about suicide. If he survives the APE RAPE, he will probably end up at the Wizard School loony bin as a drooling idiot, repeating everyday for the rest of his life these horrifying words: “THEY WERE SO BIG! THEY MADE ME S*****W IT ALWAYS!” over and over again….Nightmares! Think about it!

      • DeusenFinibus
        DeusenFinibus
        May 31, 2012 at 8:11 am | # | Reply

        Jago, you grew into a morbid disposition…

    • JarrysKid
      JarrysKid
      May 30, 2012 at 11:35 am | # | Reply

      Funny, the feeling I got from that was “Welcome home, Cousin Merrill! Long time, no see! Fwup!”

      • Anonymous
        Anonymous
        May 30, 2012 at 5:27 pm | # | Reply

        I don’t think these two thoughts need to be exclusive…

    • Stampers Saverem
      Stampers Saverem
      June 1, 2012 at 9:45 am | # | Reply

      Yeah–We can’t run very fast

  9. Kiriain
    Kiriain
    May 30, 2012 at 9:18 am | # | Reply

    And to think, some of my distant relatives look like this.

    • Stampers Saverem
      Stampers Saverem
      June 1, 2012 at 9:46 am | # | Reply

      And to think, some of my CLOSE relatives look like this!

  10. Bloodvork
    Bloodvork
    May 30, 2012 at 9:28 am | # | Reply

    When I was at school, I stopped at a Jamaican chicken place with the hottest sauce I’ve ever tasted. It was black and the guy called it “Dragon Pees, mon.”

  11. Tempest8008
    Tempest8008
    May 30, 2012 at 10:03 am | # | Reply

    I’m betting Merril is a distant cousin.

    He has the right build and hair style…

    • Kiriain
      Kiriain
      May 30, 2012 at 3:30 pm | # | Reply

      Exactly! It’s just some awkward family reunion for him! Why didn’t I think of that?

      • Stampers Saverem
        Stampers Saverem
        June 1, 2012 at 9:46 am | # | Reply

        That might explain why he doesn’t appear to be worried much….

  12. kaylasdad99
    kaylasdad99
    May 30, 2012 at 11:25 am | # | Reply

    What happened to Graham’s tatt– I mean Chose One Mark?

    • Stampers Saverem
      Stampers Saverem
      June 1, 2012 at 9:47 am | # | Reply

      I think it ran away in fear

  13. lnthomp
    lnthomp
    May 30, 2012 at 12:42 pm | # | Reply

    I bet FWUP, if it’s an acronym, is some kind of slur against wizards who have non-magical blood in their families.

    It could be nothing more than an interjection.

  14. continuity
    continuity
    May 30, 2012 at 1:52 pm | # | Reply

    In the last installment, I posted a query regarding a plot discrepancy and offered, as one of the possible choices for a reasonable explanation:

    a) all of the Infused are congenital inbred idiots.

    If I had only waited until today, I wouldn’t have had to post at all. The answer is now obvious.

  15. blah
    blah
    May 30, 2012 at 2:09 pm | # | Reply

    Item: This comic delights in doing not *quite* what we expect it to do.

    Item: A large number of commenters seem to expect attempted rape to ensue.

    Conclusion: Within a few installments, we will get a setup that looks appropriate (trying to get the kids off in a dark suspicious room, something in that vein) that has some totally innocent explanation.

    • Anonymous
      Anonymous
      May 30, 2012 at 2:46 pm | # | Reply

      And then they will rape them anyways just to spite you.

  16. Anonymous
    Anonymous
    May 30, 2012 at 3:22 pm | # | Reply

    watch them all turn out to be southern geniuses

  17. Morgan
    Morgan
    May 30, 2012 at 3:23 pm | # | Reply

    sorry I’m not anonymous

  18. =Tamar
    =Tamar
    May 30, 2012 at 3:30 pm | # | Reply

    Starboy’s magical tattoos seem to wear off when he uses magic; maybe they have to recharge.
    Nice comment on the purebred wizard stuff, anyway.

  19. Oz
    Oz
    May 30, 2012 at 4:17 pm | # | Reply

    I want that t-shirt

    • xaviara
      xaviara
      May 31, 2012 at 1:01 pm | # | Reply

      yep. same

  20. jsc
    jsc
    May 30, 2012 at 8:26 pm | # | Reply

    There are probably like, six or seven magical dog-creatures sleeping under that trailer.

    • Stampers Saverem
      Stampers Saverem
      June 1, 2012 at 9:47 am | # | Reply

      Not to mention all the ones on the porch

  21. Jago of the 7 knives
    Jago of the 7 knives
    May 30, 2012 at 9:44 pm | # | Reply

    Here’s a thought: What if the hairy-balding short guy with the glasses wearing the printed t-shirt and keeps mumbling “FWUP” isn’t a guy at all, but this Wizard family’s version of an attractive female! This is definitely the result of Wizard in-breeding covering a thousand generations.

  22. Hilarity Jane
    Hilarity Jane
    May 30, 2012 at 10:09 pm | # | Reply

    White trash wizards! I love it! I’ll bet they can summon booze and drugs even better than Merill can. I wonder what else they can do (other than molest goats and other life forms)?

    Maybe a tornado will hit their trailer park.

    • Stampers Saverem
      Stampers Saverem
      June 1, 2012 at 9:48 am | # | Reply

      That WOULD be just typical, wouldn’t it?

  23. MrTT
    MrTT
    May 30, 2012 at 11:56 pm | # | Reply

    You are killing me….. no really i have been laughing non stop for a minute and a ahaalfff. I hurts!

  24. Arydha
    Arydha
    May 31, 2012 at 2:53 am | # | Reply

    Four White Useless People.
    Following White Undercover Policeman (= Goat?) (he’s got plenty of time to utter another fwup while they’re walking down that path).
    Found Weed Under Pillow.

  25. xaviara
    xaviara
    May 31, 2012 at 1:06 pm | # | Reply

    Inner Thoughts:

    Goatsie – aw $%& gonna get raped if I’m not careful…

    Merrill – aw %^& gonna get raped if I’m not careful…

    Dundee – pretty sure they know better than to f$%^&*g rape me…

    Graham – i wonder if Dragon Piss is any good…

    Celeste – if they try to rape merrill, should I help [gain xp for defeating white wizards, up charisma for helping friend/ally] or pretend not to notice [gain political points for allowing white wizards to have their way]…

    Fatties Holding Merril – how’re we gonna get him to tell us what’ll impress his ladyfriend?

  26. Stampers Saverem
    Stampers Saverem
    June 1, 2012 at 9:39 am | # | Reply

    I agree with Graham’s expression on this one–

    God Save Us from White Trash Anything!

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    • Wizard School Issue #4 Page #5
      August 17, 2012 at 4:21 pm | #

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