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Wizard School Issue #3 Page #2

by admin on March 14, 2012 at 12:01 am
  • Wizard School

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Discussion (83) ¬

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  1. Taco Stan
    Taco Stan
    March 14, 2012 at 12:19 am | # | Reply

    Oh god! Bad influence much?

    • Jay?
      Jay?
      March 14, 2012 at 11:23 am | # | Reply

      I don’t think so. Merill clearly already knows all these spells.

      • xaviara
        xaviara
        March 14, 2012 at 2:57 pm | # | Reply

        yes, it is intriguing, to say the least, that Merrill can summon drugs, steroids and other questionable substances with nary a thought to the consequences, or the requisite spellery…
        curious and curiouser

        • Stampers Saverem
          Stampers Saverem
          March 14, 2012 at 5:11 pm | # | Reply

          And, he’s GOOD at it, too!

          [Go Merrill!]

          • Esqueleto
            Esqueleto
            March 15, 2012 at 5:44 pm | #

            I want a Merril. He’s quiet, can summon sweet, delicious poisons, FOLLOWS DIRECTIONS. What’s not to like? I’ll dress him up like Igor. How awesome would that be?

          • Stampers Saverem
            Stampers Saverem
            March 16, 2012 at 10:49 am | #

            I think I want a Merrill of my own…..

          • xaviara
            xaviara
            March 16, 2012 at 10:39 pm | #

            All in favor of getting our own personal Merrill’s?

            AYE!

          • Grudgesettler
            Grudgesettler
            March 16, 2012 at 11:46 pm | #

            Wonder if there’s a pet store in the area that deals with litters of Merrils. Can’t imagine they’ll go cheap, though.

          • PSychoTIcHicKen
            PSychoTIcHicKen
            March 30, 2012 at 8:54 am | #

            AYE!!

    • MrTT
      MrTT
      March 18, 2012 at 1:58 pm | # | Reply

      I know! That poor kid will never amount to anything if she keeps corrupting him with all this “ethics” nonsense.

  2. neon5162
    neon5162
    March 14, 2012 at 1:16 am | # | Reply

    youve already got at this point steriods is just thinking outside the box
    although id peronaly summon a few predicons from the beast wars era and let them have fun while i walked up to the flag and took it

    • neon5162
      neon5162
      March 14, 2012 at 1:17 am | # | Reply

      insert magic between got & at

    • kriss1989
      kriss1989
      April 3, 2012 at 8:50 pm | # | Reply

      Unfortunantly it’s transformation not summoning. So I’d turn into Predaking from G1 and, as a 70ft tall flying robot, fly over and take the flag.

  3. chychee
    chychee
    March 14, 2012 at 1:19 am | # | Reply

    Whats-her-face is such a
    *puts on sunglasses*
    spoil-sport

    YEEEEAAAHHHHHH!

    /end Horatio imitation

    • Stampers Saverem
      Stampers Saverem
      March 14, 2012 at 5:12 pm | # | Reply

      You forgot to stand with your head held sideways at a strange angle….

      • chychee
        chychee
        March 15, 2012 at 9:19 pm | # | Reply

        OH NOEZ! Let me fix that!

        *cocks head in awkward sideways angle, whips off sunglasses*
        Whats-her-face is such a
        *puts on sunglasses*
        spoil-sport
        *walks away impressively*

        YEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHH!

        • Stampers Saverem
          Stampers Saverem
          March 16, 2012 at 10:50 am | # | Reply

          *Cue scenes of Perfect Miami Weather*

          • xaviara
            xaviara
            March 16, 2012 at 10:40 pm | #

            CUE sound effects “calming waves” and “sexy babe laughter”

          • Stampers Saverem
            Stampers Saverem
            March 19, 2012 at 4:45 pm | #

            And skinny models in skimpy bathing suits…….

  4. mrq
    mrq
    March 14, 2012 at 2:06 am | # | Reply

    Awww man! She’s ruining all the fun! Why don’t they like do some great best wars or something! What is the fun in winning, if you need to tire yourself first? Bending the rulez is waaay more challenging and entertaining ;D

    • Stampers Saverem
      Stampers Saverem
      March 14, 2012 at 5:14 pm | # | Reply

      You think the way I do, Mrq!

      [Team Spirit--*Phaah!*]

  5. Baron Mellow von Yellow
    Baron Mellow von Yellow
    March 14, 2012 at 3:36 am | # | Reply

    What’s he going to do with steroids? Punch out a dragon?

    • OBVIATOR
      OBVIATOR
      March 14, 2012 at 2:55 pm | # | Reply

      He’s going to be on steroids. I’m not sure you get it.

      • xaviara
        xaviara
        March 15, 2012 at 12:54 pm | # | Reply

        the steroids are a reward in and of themselves. like amphetamines, only slightly less frowned upon by society at large

  6. LaughingTarget
    LaughingTarget
    March 14, 2012 at 4:11 am | # | Reply

    To be fair, if you take steroids and don’t put in all the hard work, you’ll still he fat and weak. Thy just speed up the muscle recovery process by adding a bit more of a chemical your body produces anyway. That and gross man boobs when your chemistry gets thrown off.

    • LaughingTarget
      LaughingTarget
      March 14, 2012 at 7:59 am | # | Reply

      Just figured out how to split the difference here. Transform yourself into The Hulk, or a thinly veiled parody to get around legal issues. Steroids AND transformation, all at once.

      That or transform the opponent’s stomach content into whiskey.

    • Stampers Saverem
      Stampers Saverem
      March 14, 2012 at 5:15 pm | # | Reply

      Yay, Gross Man Boobs!

    • xaviara
      xaviara
      March 15, 2012 at 12:55 pm | # | Reply

      not to mention the neanderthal brow.

      • Stampers Saverem
        Stampers Saverem
        March 15, 2012 at 5:32 pm | # | Reply

        And all the hair……

        • xaviara
          xaviara
          March 17, 2012 at 3:35 pm | # | Reply

          waaaah!

  7. heitert3
    heitert3
    March 14, 2012 at 7:08 am | # | Reply

    Wait, how is steroids not ‘transforming yourself into something useful’ in this situation?

    Merrill really will make a great minion for Graham though. He always seems pretty excited when Graham suggests something underhanded. Or maybe he was just thrilled that the ‘marked one’ finally remembered his name.

    • xaviara
      xaviara
      March 14, 2012 at 2:53 pm | # | Reply

      yeah, it DID take him a while. :D

    • Stampers Saverem
      Stampers Saverem
      March 14, 2012 at 5:15 pm | # | Reply

      Maybe Merrill is smarter than we think?

    • Grudgesettler
      Grudgesettler
      March 16, 2012 at 11:48 pm | # | Reply

      I just realized he actually did call Merrill by his name. This place is having a negative (positive?) effect on our assholish hero! *le gasp!*

  8. Anonymous
    Anonymous
    March 14, 2012 at 8:20 am | # | Reply

    It’s not like steroids will give you muscles in a few minutes.

    …Unless it’s magical steroids, I suppose.

  9. Random Guy
    Random Guy
    March 14, 2012 at 8:34 am | # | Reply

    I wonder if Merril is from the house of Igor. He’s such an eager little toady.

  10. Dusty White
    Dusty White
    March 14, 2012 at 9:16 am | # | Reply

    Dunno . . .

    I with Goatsie on this one.

    • Dusty White
      Dusty White
      March 14, 2012 at 9:17 am | # | Reply

      (grrr… “I am”) stoopid typos)

      • Bob, Who is a Dick
        Bob, Who is a Dick
        March 14, 2012 at 10:47 am | # | Reply

        At least you remembered the ‘i’ in ‘goatsie’.

        • Paul
          Paul
          March 19, 2012 at 4:35 pm | # | Reply

          After years in Slashdot, every time I see goatsie, I think it’s misspelled.

  11. Ragingagnostic
    Ragingagnostic
    March 14, 2012 at 11:30 am | # | Reply

    Don’t steroids cause, among other things, homicidal rage and shrunken testes? Maybe someone should mention the latter to Graham. ;D

    • LaughingTarget
      LaughingTarget
      March 14, 2012 at 2:31 pm | # | Reply

      Who says he isn’t already like that?

      • Stampers Saverem
        Stampers Saverem
        March 14, 2012 at 5:16 pm | # | Reply

        That would be MY guess!

        • xaviara
          xaviara
          March 17, 2012 at 5:58 pm | # | Reply

          well, he does seem a bit… how shall we say…

          • LaughingTarget
            LaughingTarget
            March 17, 2012 at 6:23 pm | #

            Homicidal?

  12. Mesopotamea
    Mesopotamea
    March 14, 2012 at 12:41 pm | # | Reply

    How is using steroids so different from changing yourself into a great mother%$#@ dragon? Personally, I’d opt to go with ‘dragonizing’ myself. Also, I’m not entirely certain that Serpentor is on the up-and-up when it comes to fair play.

  13. Anonymous
    Anonymous
    March 14, 2012 at 2:25 pm | # | Reply

    seems like she’d be fun to have on top

    • xaviara
      xaviara
      March 14, 2012 at 2:55 pm | # | Reply

      I am not sure to whom you are referring… are you suggesting something about the above-mentioned mother$%^&* dragon (which I would assume was male)? Or Celeste (who I assume has never done anything “fun” in her life – on top or otherwise)???

    • Stampers Saverem
      Stampers Saverem
      March 16, 2012 at 10:52 am | # | Reply

      If you refer to Celeste–

      Only if you don’t mind having directions yelled at you the whole time…

      FASTER! SLOWER!! A LITTLE MORE TO THE RIGHT, STUPID!!!

      • xaviara
        xaviara
        March 16, 2012 at 12:28 pm | # | Reply

        Celeste : “This is NOT how it is DONE! Merrill, show him!”

        • Grudgesettler
          Grudgesettler
          March 16, 2012 at 11:49 pm | # | Reply

          lol

  14. Jago of the 7 knives
    Jago of the 7 knives
    March 14, 2012 at 5:06 pm | # | Reply

    Maxim 31: “Only cheaters prospers!”

    As Graham contemplates Celeste’s misdirected sense of value on how to win in a massive free for all, he list his courses of action if he fails to transform to something useful in the upcoming battle royale:

    1. When the fight begins runaway!
    2. If he can’t runaway, pick some place to hide!
    3. If he can’t hide use Celeste as a shield!
    4. Use Merril as a shield!
    5. Use goatsie as a weapon!
    6. Poke someone in the eyes with his wand!
    7. Transform himself as Superman!
    8. Transform everyone else into little mices!
    9. Transform himself into Bruce Campbell with a 12 gauge shotgun and buzzsaw!
    10.Ignore Celeste and zap the flag!
    11.Turn into a colossal 50ft giant dickhead and get the flag!
    12.Get himself a .50 caliber machine gun with plenty of ammo!
    13.Transform himself into an APU from the Matrix and machine gun everyone else!
    14.Get….

    Graham was unable to complete his mental list, for it was at this moment that a flying dragon from the opposing team ate Graham whole and ended his career as the chosen one.

    THE END. WTF!

    • Stampers Saverem
      Stampers Saverem
      March 14, 2012 at 5:17 pm | # | Reply

      Well…..THAT would different!

    • heitert3
      heitert3
      March 14, 2012 at 7:12 pm | # | Reply

      Frankly, I still can’t shake the feeling that this is going to come down to Graham kicking someone in the groin.

      • xaviara
        xaviara
        March 15, 2012 at 12:16 pm | # | Reply

        Probably. It’s like when you’re watching AFV – you KNOW that eventually SOMEbody is gonna take some damage in the head, gut, or groin.

        and everyone’s hoping it’s the groin.

  15. Stampers Saverem
    Stampers Saverem
    March 14, 2012 at 5:21 pm | # | Reply

    Frankly, I can’ believe I’m saying this, but for once, I AGREE with Graham–

    And Goatsie!

    *Phooey!* on Learning Teamwork, Healthy Practices and Useful Disciplinary Skills!

    [Never did ME any good.....*SNORT*]

    • xaviara
      xaviara
      March 15, 2012 at 12:19 pm | # | Reply

      Yeah!
      Team sports – schmeam sports!
      (Although I did learn the highly useful less of flirting with the ref grants you unlimited cheats…)

      • Stampers Saverem
        Stampers Saverem
        March 15, 2012 at 5:34 pm | # | Reply

        All I ever got outta’ Team Sports was a soccer ball in the face

        • xaviara
          xaviara
          March 16, 2012 at 10:42 pm | # | Reply

          Well, like Patten said: Americans love to fight, and fight to win, and any man who loses and thinks that’s ok, I got no use for. (paraphrased, but still)

  16. Robert
    Robert
    March 14, 2012 at 8:17 pm | # | Reply

    Hmmm. Celeste seems like she’s had a little too much kool aid.
    On a side note, are you gonna toss a link to chapter 3 up there on the sidebar??

  17. jacknoir
    jacknoir
    March 14, 2012 at 10:01 pm | # | Reply

    I’d go for an Amorphous Acid-blob monster, simply flow Over the entire
    enemy team and grab the flag whenever you wish as your opponents
    are being digested…

    • xaviara
      xaviara
      March 17, 2012 at 5:59 pm | # | Reply

      (: yes.

      also, i like your avatar. cool

  18. Mesopotamea
    Mesopotamea
    March 15, 2012 at 12:56 am | # | Reply

    Jacknoir has a good sense of weapons. :)

  19. Xandersol
    Xandersol
    March 15, 2012 at 1:49 am | # | Reply

    For the last time people, he can’t be eaten by a dragon because they’re extinct.

    • xaviara
      xaviara
      March 15, 2012 at 12:20 pm | # | Reply

      what? logic! fie intolerable!!!

      also, I doubt this is the last time you will have to say that.

    • Stampers Saverem
      Stampers Saverem
      March 15, 2012 at 5:34 pm | # | Reply

      Which? The People or the Dragon?

  20. Anonymous
    Anonymous
    March 15, 2012 at 2:05 pm | # | Reply

    oh come on you know celeste has to be a tiger in the sack

    she’s like an apprentice sexy librarian and sexy witch at the same time

    • Anonymous
      Anonymous
      March 15, 2012 at 2:11 pm | # | Reply

      plus, she can turn herself into a real tiger

      …or maybe just half tiger?

    • Stampers Saverem
      Stampers Saverem
      March 15, 2012 at 5:35 pm | # | Reply

      Hidden Waters Run Deep with Celeste…..

      *Yowza!*

      • xaviara
        xaviara
        March 16, 2012 at 12:30 pm | # | Reply

        crouching tiger, hidden librarian

    • V
      V
      March 26, 2012 at 2:55 am | # | Reply

      Wait, how old was she again?

  21. chychee
    chychee
    March 15, 2012 at 9:16 pm | # | Reply

    HEY! It’s been 22 hours since your last update, admin. Don’t you think it’s time for Page #3 to be posted? I mean, holding out on us to see how many more comments you can get is really low. Do you want me to go into THAT state? Y’know? The one where I keep obsessively clicking my RSS feed to see if you’ve updated yet? Well, too late. I’m already there. Your regular update schedule be damned! A la numerous internet fangirls: i wan moar!! update plz! omg i’ll totlly just DIE if you don update!

    Ahem.

    • Stampers Saverem
      Stampers Saverem
      March 16, 2012 at 10:55 am | # | Reply

      I think Jago isn’t the ONLY one off their meds around here……

      [Which reminds me--Time for my lil' blue pill that reminds me to take my lil' red pill!

      Which I don't remember what it's for.......]

      • Grudgesettler
        Grudgesettler
        March 16, 2012 at 11:53 pm | # | Reply

        For the best, really. The nurse told me what the red one was for once. Apparently, I then asked for that lobotomy.

        • silverblob5
          silverblob5
          March 17, 2012 at 1:28 am | # | Reply

          And if you take both pills, you break the Matrix.

        • Stampers Saverem
          Stampers Saverem
          March 19, 2012 at 4:47 pm | # | Reply

          Same here………

  22. mt12
    mt12
    March 16, 2012 at 4:36 am | # | Reply

    Where is my webcomiiiiiiiiic…?

  23. Quseio Slaghappy
    Quseio Slaghappy
    March 18, 2012 at 8:41 pm | # | Reply

    transform into dragon roast and eat everyone except the drug produceing merril and the bossy bitch she probably tastes bitter

    • Stampers Saverem
      Stampers Saverem
      March 19, 2012 at 4:50 pm | # | Reply

      All we Bitches taste bitter…

      *Meheheheh!*

  24. Arcana
    Arcana
    March 19, 2012 at 9:07 pm | # | Reply

    The nerdy chick (whose name can’t be remembered and doesn’t particularly matter) needs to be sucker punched and locked in a broom closet somewhere. -.-

  25. nameless
    nameless
    June 6, 2012 at 3:22 pm | # | Reply

    Man I wish Ron never tak would have been alot less annoying.

  26. 5ilvertempest
    5ilvertempest
    November 20, 2012 at 12:21 am | # | Reply

    That goat is wise beyond his years.

Pings & Trackbacks ¬

    • Wizard School Issue #3 Page #1
      May 19, 2012 at 7:52 pm | #

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