i transform into a tank with grabbing claws that fire lazers
Not bad… I was thinking more along the lines of a tank with impenetrable diamond armor, grabbing claws with a circle that function similarly to Iron Man’s circles on his palm(except they are as powerful as the one on his chest), and lazers that are fired from any part on the tank(even from the claws). And the lazers have varies colors.
I’d transform into either:
A: A sparkly red and black lego Ripsaw with an autocannon (If you’ve played any of the lego videogames, you’d know that black and red lego objects can only be destroyed by dark powers, and as for the ripsaw, it’s one HELL of a durable (and fast, and light) tank!)
Or B: A giant mecha. I don’t really care what is on it so much as that it’s giant, it has decent mecha armor, and it’s a mecha. Good luck taking something so big down.
Needless to say… There has to be a magic spell for that… and somebody has to invent it.
“I transform myself into myself holding the Serpentor flag. Here you go.”
Probably not that, but I’m expecting this guy to pick something brilliantly lazy.
If he actually turns himself INTO the flag, what does that do to the rules?
As Graham would say, “SCREW THE RULES!”
…”I have money!”
Great! lets just conjure Exodia.
That’s definitely his style…
Such as it is
Autobots, roll out!
Are we having a little “Transformers” moment?
I don’t think Transformers Moments come in “little.”
Neither do the Transformers, as I remember…..
only decepticons – but we can blame the japanese
(this is where you say “nokias are from sweden”)
Leave it to the Japanese to do things either way smaller or way bigger than anyone else…..
One sentence of description and this is already sooo much cooler then quidditch.
This is like All-Star Wrestling, only without the fake fighting!
and there’s only three stars. on graham’s face.
Ah, good old CTF, and free class selection… I’d go for Scout! Fits him well.
Lots of fur and feathers. I’d make sure everyone else is changed and pick an efreet. Apparently casting is outlawed for the duration of the game, so a creature of pure flame would be close to invulnerable.
But… how would you pick up the flag?
*Standing over the charred and incinerated remains of the other players*
Yeah, who gives a Damn about any stupid old flag when you can wreck mayhem and murder?
I cant wait to see what kind of thing this guy chooses to transform into
Well, an Old Goat wouldn’t be too outta’ character…..
No, wait. Why did I never think of this before? He’ll go with CONAN
Into a goat?
This is a potential dangerous situation…What dangerous situation? Let me elaborate a little..
1. Graham or our “Hero” is an a*****e, well a likable a*****e after what he did to Gavin Gothicus, but still an A No. 1 a*****e.
2. He does not know anything yet about magic and they entrusted him with a LOADED MAGICAL WAND! It’s like giving the village idiot a gun and telling him to commit suicide at sunset, which being the village idiot he will likely obliged you with!
3. He will mostly likely fail in transforming himself but will undoubtedly commit the magical version of FRIENDLY FIRE and put most of his team mates in danger!
On a more positive note, I do hereby predict that Graham will trans-what-chamacallit-into something something..like the evil goat version of Bruce Campbell in Army of Darkness..only in this version instead of a decaying zombie king, Graham is transformed into a Buzz Saw-Shotgun wielding Goatsie! Shouting “Hail to the King! Baby!”
I can see it now, an Academy Award winning film..the summers new blockbuster movie! “The Texas Goat Chain Saw Massacre!” in 3D Coming to a theater near you!
I see you’re off your meds again.
Right you are Baron, right you are!
Aww….But we like Jago like that!
I would watch that!
Jago running around off his meds? Or the scenario he outlined?
Either would make for some Great Entertainment, actually….!
I’m just grinning like a maniac over the umpire’s words in the first panel. It does seem like a crazy, dangerous thing having pre-teen kids whizzing about on flying projectiles several feet above the ground. However, transforming oneself into a dangerous creature and meeting another equally dangerous creature on the battleground–I mean playing field–seems equally irresponsible.
I think the aforementioned lawsuits would come from J.K.Rowling. You know, a little bit of breaking the fourth wall.
I don’t think it’s so horrible…. if the kids all transform into dangerous things then they probably won’t all get horribly squished, maimed and/ or devoured!!!! Plus, this game would get rid off all the kids!! and what teacher in their right mind really likes the snotty, whiney, tail-pulling
I say anything that weeds out the Idiots can’t be TOO bad…..
survival of the fittest!
O the Fittest Idiots….
[Darwin didn't think of THAT one, I'll bet!]
I think you need some skill to use magic. I can’t wait to see what he’s gonna do.
“Transform yourself into something useful” causes one to ask” “Just how far can a big d**k slide, if a big d**k could slide home”?
Pokemon meets Capture the Flag? LOVE IT!
fireguy works. tanks and autobots would be good, but I’m not so sure about having the moving parts (wheel bearings etc) – plus the quantum physics could get messed up by the magic.
Ok… so… this is a team effort, right?
Invisibility cloak. Why, you ask?
1) turns wearer invisible – aka no fight needed
2) once flag is grabbed it can be hidden – aka no fight needed
3) as they say in schlock mercenary (paraphrased) you play your cards right and you can get paid to take ammo home with you
Normally I run with the theory that invisibility has several great weaknesses, the greatest of which is low flying birds. In this case, however, it would be more like low flying airplane sized birds. I’d be more likely to pick something just large enough to pick up that flag, but small enough to fly circles around those monstrosities out there. If you are going for evasion, that is.
Not to mention how disorienting it would be to try and do anything either looking through a piece of cloth tossed over your head or the inability to see your own limbs.
oh, right… maybe invisibilty and intangi – no nevermind.
hold up – why am I mincing with these powers? inVINCibility would be the way to go!
Something like a winged mouse, perhaps?
Wouldn’t a Goliath or Bugbear(from D&D) be a nice choise? Either be made of living rock, or be a giant goblin/bear monster with claws.
Thats what i would have chosen.
I think I see alot of those out there…or at least a few strong combat types…
I vote…a SIXTY FOOT HIGH Gorilla! Or an Imitation Carnosaurous!
ooh! then I choose Mothra
And I get Ghidra!
[I've always wanted three heads]
I think he’ll just fail to use the wand again and end up blinding the other players with his cigarette.
perhaps he changes himself into a horde of scantily clad women to distract the other team??
no, wait, that’s just one. combined with kage-bunshin-no-jitsu makes it… harem-no-jitsu.
(ok, too much naruto)
But I think it would work!
The OTHER team … riiiiiight …
I think I would transform myself into a gate-portal-thing from which come many strange and creepy creatures, that by working together as a team (to secure the good side’s support) toss all members of every team back through the portal and proceed to devour the bystanders….
First: Love the Broom and Lawsuits Remark
Second: Twinkie, do NOT ask such a Loaded Question in front of Crazy Ol’ Hags like me–That’s just ASKIN’ fer’ it!!!
Three: I think he should turn into a Harpy, and grab the flag while everyone else on the field is running from both his stench as well as his “Harpy Poopy-Bombs”, which I understand you do NOT wanna’ be contaminated by!
Ooh! Ooh! He should go all Medusa on them! Once they all turn to stone they can’t fight back.
then, like, bumblebane can fix things. or not. win/win
Now THAT’S the Right Attitude for this game, Xav!
This is Graham we’re talking about. I don’t expect any actual magic. It’s going to be a whole lot of “Knee to the groin, and pointy stick to the eye” action.
I’m sure he’s been in plenty of drunken brawls. Remember: they may look like monsters now, but they’re still just teenagers. They’ve only fought each other… he’s probably taken on bikers, bouncers, and badasses. A 14-year-old posing as a faerie or centaur isn’t going to scare him.
Oh, yeah. And they even gave him a pointy stick, too…
That and the lit cigarette, and he’s all ready to roll!
Sylar, I choose you!
First it’s Transformers, and now somebody let the Poke’mon people in….*Sheesh*
heh heh heh! Pokemon AND Heroes. The infestation begins.
transformers + pokemon =
Ash throws hotwheels car, shouting “Combee I choose you!” (vs Metapod)
Combee gets charged by the Allspark so he can level up into Bumblebee
Bumble attacks Metapod – but Metapod upgrades to Megatron
[Runs Screaming into the Night]
The only thing about Poke’mon that I ever understood was James……
Oh crap! The old guy said “something useful.”
I think he will live to regret not being more careful with his words. Twink’s about to come up with something no one expects.
“The world’s greatest swordsman fears not the world’s second-greatest swordsman. He fears the man who has never touched a sword.”
We are (hopefully) about to see what happens when someone who hasn’t been conditioned to follow the rules “turns himself into something useful.” (Yaay!)
As opposed to “something Useless”, which he already is…
As Graham contemplates the meaning of the words mouthed by the Wizard Umpire, he decides to give magic a try and transform himself into something that defines his essence and being to the entire world…
Graham: “Alright you silly bastards! Get ready for some a** wiping! TRANSMORGRITUS HEADUS DICKUS!”
Loud SFX: “KAZAAAM!”
As the smoke cleared, all the sorcerers, wizards, students and spectator alive held their breath to see what form Graham took in order to join in the epic battle that lies ahead. They could see a silhouette and a very unusual form…
Bumblebane: “My world! Is that what I think it is!!!”
Celeste: “OH SHIT! What the f**k! It can’t be?!?!”
Goatsie: “OHOHOHOHOH…I want to be that one…?!?”
GRAHAM in his battle form was in the figure of a two legged, two armed DICKHEAD with a mouth!
Graham: “ALRIGHT YOU M**********RS! PREPARE TO TASTE MY C*M, FOR I AM SUPER DICKHEAD!”
Well that would certainly be in Character for Our Hero–*Ahem*
He should transform himself into a dragon :/
considering what happened to the last dragon we all heard about, I’ma go with a no on that one (from his POV)
See, you have to think from Graham’s perspective here. He doesn’t know all of this magic stuff. His world is one of rich elitism, drunken debauchery, and overall decadence.
He’s not going to be a dragon, faerie, or any such nonsense. The question becomes: if you were a rich, arrogant, self-serving prick… and you needed something that was in the hands of 10-12 fired-up adolescents… how would you obtain it?
The answer, of course is simple: Graham doesn’t give a rip about the game or the flag.
He’ll probably laugh at someone stomping a faerie, make fun of the participants all around, and punch below the belt if anyone tries to mess with him personally. In fact, he’d probably be happy to sell HIS flag to the other team if he got something cool in exchange.
“…The question becomes: if you were a rich, arrogant, self-serving prick… and you needed something that was in the hands of 10-12 fired-up adolescents… how would you obtain it?”
MONEY! I say he get Merrill to conjure some fine (fake) gold like a true leprechaun (’cause Merrill does kinda look like one if you squint), and throw it somewhere for them to scrabble to get it.
that, or candy. I mean, c’mon. they’re kids. they’ll scrabble around for candy too.
Waiting for the bright light that becomes the pyramid of cheops for a minute and thus crushes everyone to pulp. That would spoil it, would it not.
Or that Giant Foot from Monty Python
That would rock
Best option might be wind. You couldn’t really be touched by the other creatures but a small whirlwind/tornado could easily move that flag wherever it needed to be.
Cthulhu for the win Alex.
Did a head count, including the Goat there are 17 players a side.
This sounds so much better than Quidditch.
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