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Wizard School Issue #2 Page #20

by admin on March 7, 2012 at 12:01 am
  • Wizard School

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Discussion (80) ¬

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  1. Wackadoodle
    Wackadoodle
    March 7, 2012 at 12:09 am | # | Reply

    Hell yeah, where you summon beasts to mash one another up, or turn into one to do the same! I assume. Maybe they play chess, who knows.

    • Andres
      Andres
      March 7, 2012 at 12:45 am | # | Reply

      Oh goodness, let it be chess!

      • Anonymous
        Anonymous
        March 7, 2012 at 3:18 pm | # | Reply

        Obviously it is a version of shoji where, when you capture the enemy’s piece, you TRANSMOGRIFY it into one of yourse – and give it cool, pokemon style powers.
        how they track whose is whose is the real mystery

        • Great Old One
          Great Old One
          March 7, 2012 at 6:32 pm | # | Reply

          Actually I think they transmogrify themselves…..

      • Dusty White
        Dusty White
        March 8, 2012 at 3:23 am | # | Reply

        +1!

  2. Dusty White
    Dusty White
    March 7, 2012 at 12:24 am | # | Reply

    Kinda hopin’ his secret totem animal is a giant kick-ass goat. Would make for some good comedy.

    • heitert3
      heitert3
      March 7, 2012 at 1:11 am | # | Reply

      And the preppy kid can come back and turn into a giant hipster snake… with a little round scar on its forehead.

      • Stampers Saverem
        Stampers Saverem
        March 7, 2012 at 4:29 pm | # | Reply

        Both of those suggestions work for me!

  3. Jago of the 7 knives
    Jago of the 7 knives
    March 7, 2012 at 1:11 am | # | Reply

    Voice of Games Master on the PA:

    “Ladies, gentlemen, wizards and sorcerers..welcome to the 100th Bumblebane Cup annual Transmogritus! Featured today are several new Chimeras from other Wizard Schools with current Champion Lizardo from Ozland Wizard School in his Hybrid Satyr Ram form. But this years games is unlike any previous games, for today the Bumblebane Cup will adopt the revised rules of WY 2413, particular Section E, Paragraph 5, Sub-Paragraph F which states that and I quote:

    ‘Any and all fallen contestant who are killed in the games will not be transformed back to human form, but instead remain in their chimera form. Their bodies are to be then taken to the school kitchen and under strict supervision, be converted to the appropriate food recipe and donated to the Foundation of Orphan Wizard Children for distribution…’

    “A fine way to go and deserving of our support. Now a few words from our sponsors—-”

    ‘Is your crystal ball giving you the wrong predictions?!? Does it talk back to you in a rude manner?!? Is it blackmailing not only you but your clients?!? Then fear no more! With the new Crystal Ball 5000J, these problems will be a thing of the past! Get accurate predictions! Have respectful answers…Ensure confidentiality! Enjoy peace of mind! As a purchase incentive it can even do your taxes for you..The Crystal Ball 5000J, the future never look more brighter!…Can be bought on Wizard Bay; your nearest drugstore and authorized sales agents..only 20 gold pieces and lifetime free service guarantee!’

    • Ragingagnostic
      Ragingagnostic
      March 7, 2012 at 2:03 pm | # | Reply

      ROFLMAO.

    • xaviara
      xaviara
      March 7, 2012 at 3:22 pm | # | Reply

      genius. pure #$%^&ing genius.

    • Stampers Saverem
      Stampers Saverem
      March 7, 2012 at 4:31 pm | # | Reply

      It slices, it dices–It even makes julieanne fries!!!

      • jerich0the0reap
        jerich0the0reap
        March 7, 2012 at 8:19 pm | # | Reply

        Julie Anne fries or Julieanne?

        • xaviara
          xaviara
          March 7, 2012 at 10:04 pm | # | Reply

          wait – i thought her name was celeste

        • Stampers Saverem
          Stampers Saverem
          March 8, 2012 at 4:01 pm | # | Reply

          Po-tay-to, Po-tah-to…..

          Not that I even KNOW what a julieanne fry is……

  4. BiggerJ
    BiggerJ
    March 7, 2012 at 6:23 am | # | Reply

    If our ‘hero’ indeed turns into a goat, he might have one… *ahem* hell of an advantage. “You say goat, I say SATAN.”

  5. lnthomp
    lnthomp
    March 7, 2012 at 6:55 am | # | Reply

    Yeah, this makes a lot of sense, put the new guy, who you know next-to-nothing about, and who doesn’t want to be there in the first place, on your team in a competition he’s never heard of.

    • Sheela
      Sheela
      March 7, 2012 at 7:45 am | # | Reply

      Lets not forget that we haven’t yet seen him cast a spell successfully on his own.
      Yeah, he’s totally the right guy for that.

      • Ragingagnostic
        Ragingagnostic
        March 7, 2012 at 2:02 pm | # | Reply

        Poor Graham. He’s probably more the type to gamble on sporting events than actually play on one. And I wouldn’t put any money on that cigarette starting a distracting fire. They’ll just extinguish it with magic. (sigh)

        • KharmaApple
          KharmaApple
          March 7, 2012 at 9:29 pm | # | Reply

          He seems like the type who’d gamble just to let people know he can afford to lose.
          “If there’s one thing that being ungodly rich has taught me, it’s to never take risks with my money. Therefore, bookie, I put a million dollars on every horse.”
          “…what.”
          “Every horse, bookie! Are you deaf?”
          “…um, I’ll-”
          “No, no, I’ve changed my mind. Not every horse. Just Seabiscuit.”
          “…Seabiscuit isn’t in the race today, sir, he’s dead…”
          “DID YOU HEAR ME? I PUT MONEY ON SEABISCUIT!”
          “…um, okay. You lose.”
          “Fuck, I guess I’ll have to sell my least favorite Maserati now.”

          • xaviara
            xaviara
            March 7, 2012 at 10:05 pm | #

            I think that’s how he first met the blonde that got him into this mess

          • Stampers Saverem
            Stampers Saverem
            March 8, 2012 at 4:02 pm | #

            Ain’t gonna’ stay disgustingly rich for very long THAT way…..

          • alphatroll
            alphatroll
            March 9, 2012 at 4:16 pm | #

            I’m pretty sure he was never ACTUALLY rich – he just said so to get into that blonde’s pants.

      • heitert3
        heitert3
        March 7, 2012 at 6:54 pm | # | Reply

        Not being able to cast a decent spell may be to his advantage. They’ll never see the mundane attack coming. I’m willing to bet a knee to the groin hurts regardless of transmogrified form.

  6. Silicon
    Silicon
    March 7, 2012 at 9:45 am | # | Reply

    I’m curious. She’s the intelligent one, yet she expects him to pull some victory off.

    • Baron Mellow von Yellow
      Baron Mellow von Yellow
      March 7, 2012 at 11:12 am | # | Reply

      She’s a know-it-all. That doesn’t necessarily come with sense.

    • LaughingTarget
      LaughingTarget
      March 7, 2012 at 1:15 pm | # | Reply

      Book smarts =/= street smarts

    • xaviara
      xaviara
      March 7, 2012 at 3:21 pm | # | Reply

      She expects the other team to expect him to pull off a victory. AKA, he is the convenient distraction to give her the chance to crush them.

      And crush them she will.

      • heitert3
        heitert3
        March 7, 2012 at 6:58 pm | # | Reply

        Not her. I’m betting good money that Merrill is a total stud at this sport.

        • A Nonnie Mouse
          A Nonnie Mouse
          March 7, 2012 at 10:06 pm | # | Reply

          yes… he must have some talent or she wouldn’t keep him around…

          • Stampers Saverem
            Stampers Saverem
            March 8, 2012 at 4:03 pm | #

            That would explain a lot ’bout Ol’ Merrill…..

    • Paul
      Paul
      March 19, 2012 at 3:43 am | # | Reply

      Yeah, she’s the intelligent one with the insider knowledge. Sounds like a grand setup to bet the other team. 1) Hype the great white hope until you get 4:1 or better; 2) profit!

  7. Inquisitor Grey
    Inquisitor Grey
    March 7, 2012 at 10:05 am | # | Reply

    Maybe she just discounts any need for him to actually be good based on the rest of the team’s awesomeness? Like the Early 90′s Bulls with Jordan, Pippen and Rodman, but who else was on it?

    • heitert3
      heitert3
      March 7, 2012 at 6:56 pm | # | Reply

      Steve Kerr and Toni Kukoc. But I’m pretty sure those names actually support your point.

    • DanMan
      DanMan
      March 11, 2012 at 10:12 pm | # | Reply

      Yeah– that totally fits. Wasn’t Harry Potter’s Qudditch is exactly the same? Except in this game its OK to have one player suck, and in Qudditch its OK to have all your players but one suck — because only the seeker matters.

  8. LaughingTarget
    LaughingTarget
    March 7, 2012 at 1:14 pm | # | Reply

    He forgot to put his cigarette out. I bet the fire it starts is what wins the game.

    • xaviara
      xaviara
      March 7, 2012 at 3:21 pm | # | Reply

      probably

      • Stampers Saverem
        Stampers Saverem
        March 7, 2012 at 4:32 pm | # | Reply

        Or better yet, burns the entire place down!

  9. Stampers Saverem
    Stampers Saverem
    March 7, 2012 at 4:37 pm | # | Reply

    Comments in General:

    –Geez Girl, spoil things just when he was beginning to have some fun!

    –And just when I thought this school was the most BORING place, ever–!

    –Well….It’s not as if Twinkie McSheen ain’t already made an ASS of himself, ya’ know……!

  10. Mister Gray
    Mister Gray
    March 7, 2012 at 7:36 pm | # | Reply

    Ya know everytime I read Graham’s dialogue I picture Bruce Campbell. :)

    • Jago of the 7 knives
      Jago of the 7 knives
      March 8, 2012 at 7:32 am | # | Reply

      I do believe that character of Graham is really based on Bruce Campbell. But it is Campbell in a very bad day!

      “Hail to the King, baby!”

      • Stampers Saverem
        Stampers Saverem
        March 8, 2012 at 4:05 pm | # | Reply

        Nawwww……Bruce Campbell was still likeable, even with the buzz-saw

        • Baron Mellow von Yellow
          Baron Mellow von Yellow
          March 8, 2012 at 5:10 pm | # | Reply

          Russell was pretty likeable on the previous page.

          • xaviara
            xaviara
            March 8, 2012 at 8:43 pm | #

            yeah, well, ANYONE is likeable when they burn a cigarette into the forehead of a dickish tween

          • Stampers Saverem
            Stampers Saverem
            March 9, 2012 at 12:08 pm | #

            S’truth!

  11. Robert
    Robert
    March 7, 2012 at 8:02 pm | # | Reply

    He has one simple advantage against most of those things… fur burns. Anyone want to bet on how long it takes him to start lighting magical creatures on fire?

  12. DonDueed
    DonDueed
    March 7, 2012 at 9:18 pm | # | Reply

    Flying lions…?

    Flying lions!

    • DanMan
      DanMan
      March 11, 2012 at 10:26 pm | # | Reply

      Flying lions are no big deal…. now flying ELEPHANTS! That is something to make you think twice about where you park the car.

      • Stampers Saverem
        Stampers Saverem
        March 12, 2012 at 8:40 pm | # | Reply

        LoL!

        [And, *Ew!*]

  13. Verethragna
    Verethragna
    March 7, 2012 at 9:43 pm | # | Reply

    Transmogritus?

    Sounds like an STD …

    • DanMan
      DanMan
      March 11, 2012 at 10:13 pm | # | Reply

      So then….. the Jerk Hero would totally dominate in this game?

      • Stampers Saverem
        Stampers Saverem
        March 12, 2012 at 8:40 pm | # | Reply

        That would be MY guess…..

  14. xaviara
    xaviara
    March 7, 2012 at 10:08 pm | # | Reply

    Here’s hoping Bastardized Latinum turns out to be a spell he can use to make other people’s magic backfire!
    *glass of vodkanol raised*

    • Jago of the 7 knives
      Jago of the 7 knives
      March 8, 2012 at 7:36 am | # | Reply

      I’ll take one glass of vodkano! Glass shaken not stirred…Here is to the comment page! May we forever maintain our humor and express our insanity in pages such as this–one with a damn good story and many a wacky people commenting on line! Hail to all! Prosit!

      • Stampers Saverem
        Stampers Saverem
        March 8, 2012 at 4:06 pm | # | Reply

        You’ve been snortin’ that stuff, Jago?

        • Jago of the 7 knives
          Jago of the 7 knives
          March 8, 2012 at 5:45 pm | # | Reply

          Hehehehehe….wouldn’t you like to know…but seriously, I laid off the hard stuff years ago and I now drink lite beer, coffee, tea and (gasped!) soya drinks! The first reason is that I no longer wanna experience waking up in the morning embracing the HEAD every morning, with puke and “other matter” all over the place and not remembering how I got there to begin with. Second, I wanna see my kids grow up..them little critters could be a real pain at times cause of them squabbling and all, but they are worth it…of course every time they get under my skin I threaten them to sell em to any passing person who pass by the house! That shut them up most of the time…but they are getting smart, they are slowly beginning to realize that I actually need a lawyer to sell em legally! and they know I really love them (smart brats)..So I don’t know how long I can use that line on them…”Beware the Zombie Apocalypse” seems to be a promising line of thought. Child rearing-It ain’t a science..it’s an art!

          • xaviara
            xaviara
            March 8, 2012 at 8:45 pm | #

            these children of which ye speak – they are the side effects of all that lds you’ve been taking, right?

          • Stampers Saverem
            Stampers Saverem
            March 9, 2012 at 12:09 pm | #

            Or, you can always just try snortin’ the soya stuff……

            [Kids can drive-ya' CRAZY in no time!]

          • Jago of the 7 knives
            Jago of the 7 knives
            March 9, 2012 at 9:22 pm | #

            To @ xaviara and Mdm. Saverem:

            Yup, in a way. There was a period of time I did not actually wanted to get married. My philosophy then was (no offense intended against the female of the species, of which I believe you two [Xav and Mdm. Saverem] are exemplary samples off…to get a girl pregnant; have the baby born and hand it over to my parents to raise. I provide the money and they provide the parenting and I remain blissfully single the rest of my natural life. If they want a new grand kid, no problemo!

            But the reality of life is very very different….but that is another story. Having kids does drive you crazy…but in a nice crazy way…

          • xaviara
            xaviara
            March 11, 2012 at 1:12 am | #

            Actually – that is not a bad plan.

            I always figured I’d just steal my sister’s kids once they were properly house-broken. I mean tamed. I mean…

          • Stampers Saverem
            Stampers Saverem
            March 12, 2012 at 8:43 pm | #

            Sounds like a plan, actually–

            [Me, I decided to settle for cats, and let my sister provide the grand-kid....

            Which is probably just as well, since my niece is much better behaved than my cats]

  15. Jago of the 7 knives
    Jago of the 7 knives
    March 8, 2012 at 10:05 pm | # | Reply

    To @ xaviara:

    Xav if I didn’t know any better, I’ll say your a regular shrink who makes $20 an hour just listening to guys like me make cry baby on the couch! Yeah, your probably right…I’m too cheap and busy to see a shrink so I make comments on this pages which I really find very therapeutic. Hope admin doesn’t begin charging me no fees and all for using up the comment and discussion page!

    • Stampers Saverem
      Stampers Saverem
      March 9, 2012 at 12:10 pm | # | Reply

      You and me, both, Jago!

      • xaviara
        xaviara
        March 9, 2012 at 3:32 pm | # | Reply

        oh, I make money off crazies… just… in a slightly less legal and socially-acceptable manner…

        oh – wait. was that out loud???

      • Jago of the 7 knives
        Jago of the 7 knives
        March 9, 2012 at 9:24 pm | # | Reply

        Glad to know I ain’t alone on this. Being slightly crazy does love company!

        • Stampers Saverem
          Stampers Saverem
          March 12, 2012 at 8:45 pm | # | Reply

          Don’ it?

          [That's probably why we tend to collect in either loony bins, or on comic websites....]

          • Jago of the 7 knives
            Jago of the 7 knives
            March 13, 2012 at 5:57 am | #

            Real life as I figured and experience it (like you guys) is crazy as it is…so being slightly crazy in real life can (in a certain perspective) be regarded as normal. This off course means that we are the real normal people in society and everyone else who ain’t in the loony bins or in comic websites are all in denial. Hmmm…this could serve as my topic for my thesis for my masters degree…it has possibilities…

            So short version: “WE ARE THE REAL NORMAL PEOPLE IN MODERN DAY SOCIETY..EVERYONE ELSE IS IN DENIAL!”

          • Stampers Saverem
            Stampers Saverem
            March 13, 2012 at 7:05 pm | #

            Or, you could call it, “Where All of the Village Idiots Have Gone in Modern Day Society”!

  16. bigchiroal
    bigchiroal
    March 9, 2012 at 9:50 am | # | Reply

    “If you say so kid, but I’m going to need at least a fifth of something clear, a Bic lighter, and my Collins Machete. And by the way, does Dragon liver go well with onions? “

    • xaviara
      xaviara
      March 9, 2012 at 3:34 pm | # | Reply

      mmmm…. dragon liver and onions. that. sounds. delicious!

      second only to dragon wing-steak with honey-garlic toasted french bread, and fire-roasted tomatoes, and… ok, yeah, I should take a lunch break.

      • Stampers Saverem
        Stampers Saverem
        March 12, 2012 at 8:46 pm | # | Reply

        *Ick!*

        But I’ll take the Dragon Drummettes!

  17. Mesopotamea
    Mesopotamea
    March 10, 2012 at 4:31 am | # | Reply

    Drat! Now I’m hungry…

    • Stampers Saverem
      Stampers Saverem
      March 12, 2012 at 8:46 pm | # | Reply

      We tend to do that here…..

  18. MrTT
    MrTT
    March 10, 2012 at 8:27 pm | # | Reply

    Let me guess, like pokemon only instead of capturing magic creatures you transmogrify empty beer bottles into them?

    • xaviara
      xaviara
      March 11, 2012 at 1:13 am | # | Reply

      Ooh! Ooh! And when you defeat the enemy creature, it automatically transmogrifies into a FULL beer!!!

      Graham is gonna DOMINATE at this game (once he figures that out)

      • Stampers Saverem
        Stampers Saverem
        March 12, 2012 at 8:47 pm | # | Reply

        Yep–It’s right up is alley!!!

  19. Bob, Who is a Dick
    Bob, Who is a Dick
    March 14, 2012 at 10:44 am | # | Reply

    Oh. Oh ho ho. This looks WAY fuckin’ better than Quidditch.

    • Stampers Saverem
      Stampers Saverem
      March 14, 2012 at 4:12 pm | # | Reply

      More Violent and Messy, at least…..

      [Kinda' like football as compared to cricket]

  20. ColdFrog
    ColdFrog
    April 3, 2012 at 3:09 pm | # | Reply

    Something about that last panel makes me think (hope) that this tournament turns into an episode of Superjail.

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    • Wizard School Issue #2 Page #19
      May 19, 2012 at 7:51 pm | #

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