It is OBVIOUS what we must do. We need to charter a small local plan and airdrop some sweet swag onto them on next John Frum Day!
You can be part of this miracle! Please list what you are willing to include in the ‘air-drop-care-package’.
I will add a collection of old Groo comic books. It breaks my heart to give them up but it is a worthy cause.
Well, if we DO charter a plane to drop gifts “from John Frum” I say we totally disguise ourselves as angels and paratroop down for a free vacation – *ahem* I mean to bestow the blessing of our presence on their island paradise…
Airplane Captain announcement after a successful landing!
Airplane Captain: “By Jove! We made it! We actually f*****g made it!!! Ahem..Ahem..Ladies and gentlemen this is your Captain speaking. We have successfully landed on an isolated runway in the middle of nowhere. Kindly follow the flight attendants to the nearest emergency exits. Women, children and transgenders first. Adult males last. Please remain calm and composed. The smoke and fire that you will see upon exit are the bonfires which guided us to safety and the primitively garbed individuals holding spears are part of the welcoming committee intent to provide us with barbeque and some entertainment as we await rescue.
Again, thank you for flying Screwed Airline Services (SAS), the cheapest airline flight between Chicago and Tokyo, as our company motto goes: “Don’t dare sue us! Cause we will definitely sue you for flying with us!” Have a nice day.”
Thanks for the comment. Much obliged. Also, to set the matter straight: “I ain’t no lawyer!”
I don’t have anything against lawyers, just so happened I grew in a place where lawyers (during that period of time) were generally tolerated cause they were useful in making wills and other legal stuff and what have you. My old man told me when I was but a young boy that in their days, they use to shoot lawyers, but stopped the practice cause there was just too many of them. That’s why they are tolerated during these present times cause they are so damn hard to kill off. Easier to make the buffalo extinct instead of lawyers. Sorta like the Partnership Collective in Schlock Mercenary.
Well MacArthur retreated with the rest of the allied forces to Australia about a month before these natives held their ritual and he didn’t return with the full allied fleet until 1944 effectively since most of our pacific fleet basically died a pearl harbor and it took time to rebuild.
true, but that was under orders – and then he made up for it by freeing all of the pacific islands, rescuing the troops that our president had intentionally stranded at the Phillipines (because he didn’t think they were important – the Phillipines that is), pushing the commies all the way to china, and securing japan from the Russians, writing their democratic constitution, humanizing their god-emperor – and then he lost his job because american was trying to make him president AGAINST HIS WILL and the Prez was jealous.
oh, and then he took over Westpoint and made it into a real actual college instead of just a glorified army barracks, and stopped hazing.
Oh, and BTW – the reason he was ordered to Australia was because the Aussies has sent ALL of their guys to fight against Germany, and left no one at home to defend the ladies again Japan, since, technically, japan wasn’t even a problem the first half of the war.
Some Island natives comment on seeing the plane land and the passengers disembark from the plane:
High Priest: “Hey Dum-dum, go get Ashogi’s kid, you know..the newly minted Tribal Lawyer..get him over here fast so that we can sue these suckers for running over Watambe…We are so going to sue em for every food entree they got! and then some!”
Priest in Charge of Personnel: “Gus, come over here and take this note down: Ahem….’Please be informed that a position for Cargo Cult Priest SG 14, item no. 4321 is declared hereby open. All interested applicants please submit your resume address to the Priest Chief of Personnel for processing and evaluation, only those willing to undergo ritual circumsion need apply. Application for said position will be closed on the 5th of New Moon.’ Ok have that published and distributed ASAP!”
Tribal Insurance Agent: “Dicky..hand me the drums…gotta report this accident to the boss quick before we make payments..I don’t know if getting run over by a giant mother f*****g plane is an Act of the Gods or just a plain accident”…(drum beats)thumthumthum….dumdum..thumdum)
Tribal Police Officer: “Hey Sarge, are we gonna charge them folks for running over Watambe and killing him?”
Tribal Police Sargeant: “Are you nuts Poke! Didn’t you see it with your own eyes!?! Watambe’s death was an act of the Gods! We can’t arrest or charge the gods you idiot! Still I do believe they have violated Island and Tribal law as it is..”
Tribal Police Officer: “What law is that Sarge?”
Tribal Police Sargeant: “Kid you are really green ain’t you..how long you been out of the Tribal Police Academy? Eight days? Two weeks at the most? Never mind, let me list to your their lawful violations:
1. Illegal landing..this airstrip was not design to accommodate a plane that size;
2. Illegal parking of plane, again this airstrip is not design for a plane of that size;
3. Obstruction, that plane is now a hazard cause it is now blocking the runway which prevents other planes from landing;
4. Reckless endangerment..cause as long as they are parked in the runway like that, they put into direct and indirect danger every plane wanting to land at our airstrip;
5. Visa violation…reminds me we gotta get Tribal Immigration here fast, before them folks disappears into the jungle and claim our lands as their own..Our Island Tribe does not issued Visa On Arrival;
6. Custom violation…hmmm. hope the customs guys with Greko is on their feet and all..this crowd definitely have some contraband items with them!;
7. Littering..Watambe ain’t much anymore than a dead carcass on the runway and that my fellow is littering; and lastly;
8. Violation of Tribal Code 101 otherwise known as the “Illegal Possession and Display of Ugly Faces!”.
Damn look at those mugs! the horror of interacting with all those ugly dudes! Pale skin, large noses and wearing clothes! YUCK! Well, come on Poki, lets cite these guys and get it all over with”
That they did Mr. DanMan..you can read Watambe’s last words one panel back in your reply section (Cargo Cult #1 #18)..Poor guy, he was just doing his bit (shown in Panel 3, Cargo Cult #1 #3) turning the pseudo-planes propellers when he got run over..Just wasn’t his day.
Just to note and to get back on topic that plane showed up out of nowhere and all the countries at war with each in the world at that time had Radar. So depending on what happens next that plane showed up on Radar. xD
Today I learned the Cargo Cults are real things (source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cargo_cults ) how neat.
Dude, interesting find. It didn’t even cross my mind to do a search for it. Shame on me.
Yeah they exist and are mentioned in anthropology classes.
One of the ones still in exist today is the John Frum movement. That worships an American named John. It has it’s own holiday.
http://www.cracked.com/article_18961_the-6-strangest-ways-anyone-was-ever-mistaken-god.html
Details two of the cargo cults.
Yeah even today with them knowing about airplanes they still do the rituals in hopes they will get free things from the sky.
Heh beats Scientology and Christianity.
It is OBVIOUS what we must do. We need to charter a small local plan and airdrop some sweet swag onto them on next John Frum Day!
You can be part of this miracle! Please list what you are willing to include in the ‘air-drop-care-package’.
I will add a collection of old Groo comic books. It breaks my heart to give them up but it is a worthy cause.
Let’s see……What can I foist off……er–”donate” to this cause?
Do ya’ take used pantyhose?
How about miscellaneous single socks?
If you can’t make it to the Frummers’, feel free to drop those Groos at my place…
Or even Satanism!
for a second there I read that as a continuation of your donation schtick, laughed loudly, and then figured out where that was going.
Well–Either way it made ya’ laugh, Right?
Man, the gods sure are ungrateful. That’s a REAL spiritually dedicated heaven-port and everything!
“minor mechanical issue” *snerk*
“slight delay”……
[Talk about yer' Major Understatements!]
We ain’t in Kansas, Toto!
Well, if we DO charter a plane to drop gifts “from John Frum” I say we totally disguise ourselves as angels and paratroop down for a free vacation – *ahem* I mean to bestow the blessing of our presence on their island paradise…
Better to dress like WWII soldiers cuz that’s what they’re looking for
Angelic WWII soldiers?
Airplane Captain announcement after a successful landing!
Airplane Captain: “By Jove! We made it! We actually f*****g made it!!! Ahem..Ahem..Ladies and gentlemen this is your Captain speaking. We have successfully landed on an isolated runway in the middle of nowhere. Kindly follow the flight attendants to the nearest emergency exits. Women, children and transgenders first. Adult males last. Please remain calm and composed. The smoke and fire that you will see upon exit are the bonfires which guided us to safety and the primitively garbed individuals holding spears are part of the welcoming committee intent to provide us with barbeque and some entertainment as we await rescue.
Again, thank you for flying Screwed Airline Services (SAS), the cheapest airline flight between Chicago and Tokyo, as our company motto goes: “Don’t dare sue us! Cause we will definitely sue you for flying with us!” Have a nice day.”
I totally had to read that one aloud, Jago. You come up with some seriously awesome stuff.
“Don’t dare sue us! Cause we will definitely sue you for flying with us!”
YES!
To @ xaviara,
Thanks for the comment. Much obliged. Also, to set the matter straight: “I ain’t no lawyer!”
I don’t have anything against lawyers, just so happened I grew in a place where lawyers (during that period of time) were generally tolerated cause they were useful in making wills and other legal stuff and what have you. My old man told me when I was but a young boy that in their days, they use to shoot lawyers, but stopped the practice cause there was just too many of them. That’s why they are tolerated during these present times cause they are so damn hard to kill off. Easier to make the buffalo extinct instead of lawyers. Sorta like the Partnership Collective in Schlock Mercenary.
ha ha yeah, I was gonna say something about Schlock Mercenary there
To: @xaviara
You are a person of good taste and intelligence xav for reading Schlock Mercenary. My hat is off to you (tipping my hat!).
@ Jago – ha “taste” is that a pun?
@ xaviara
No pun Mam, just a good old classic compliment.
Yeah–I hear lawyers are bit like cockroaches in that way….
Oh, and Nasty Attitude Businessman–You go DEAD Last, Bozo!
So how long do you think it’ll take for the Japanese to invade the Island?
Well, that all depends… will John Frum summon MacArthur? Or is the pacific left to its own devices this time?
I think they only invade with electronics these days….
Well MacArthur retreated with the rest of the allied forces to Australia about a month before these natives held their ritual and he didn’t return with the full allied fleet until 1944 effectively since most of our pacific fleet basically died a pearl harbor and it took time to rebuild.
true, but that was under orders – and then he made up for it by freeing all of the pacific islands, rescuing the troops that our president had intentionally stranded at the Phillipines (because he didn’t think they were important – the Phillipines that is), pushing the commies all the way to china, and securing japan from the Russians, writing their democratic constitution, humanizing their god-emperor – and then he lost his job because american was trying to make him president AGAINST HIS WILL and the Prez was jealous.
oh, and then he took over Westpoint and made it into a real actual college instead of just a glorified army barracks, and stopped hazing.
Oh, and BTW – the reason he was ordered to Australia was because the Aussies has sent ALL of their guys to fight against Germany, and left no one at home to defend the ladies again Japan, since, technically, japan wasn’t even a problem the first half of the war.
just saying
Heh well there’s always hope that the U.S.S. Eldridge (Philadelphia Experiment) pops up. xD
that would freaking ROCK!!! (:
That would be fun!
And then he just faded away……
[Hey--That was his OWN words!]
ha ha yeah
you ever see that picture of him and hirohito? comic GOLD – that guy is litereally half as tall!
All the better for kicking Foreign General in the shins
Some Island natives comment on seeing the plane land and the passengers disembark from the plane:
High Priest: “Hey Dum-dum, go get Ashogi’s kid, you know..the newly minted Tribal Lawyer..get him over here fast so that we can sue these suckers for running over Watambe…We are so going to sue em for every food entree they got! and then some!”
Priest in Charge of Personnel: “Gus, come over here and take this note down: Ahem….’Please be informed that a position for Cargo Cult Priest SG 14, item no. 4321 is declared hereby open. All interested applicants please submit your resume address to the Priest Chief of Personnel for processing and evaluation, only those willing to undergo ritual circumsion need apply. Application for said position will be closed on the 5th of New Moon.’ Ok have that published and distributed ASAP!”
Tribal Insurance Agent: “Dicky..hand me the drums…gotta report this accident to the boss quick before we make payments..I don’t know if getting run over by a giant mother f*****g plane is an Act of the Gods or just a plain accident”…(drum beats)thumthumthum….dumdum..thumdum)
Tribal Police Officer: “Hey Sarge, are we gonna charge them folks for running over Watambe and killing him?”
Tribal Police Sargeant: “Are you nuts Poke! Didn’t you see it with your own eyes!?! Watambe’s death was an act of the Gods! We can’t arrest or charge the gods you idiot! Still I do believe they have violated Island and Tribal law as it is..”
Tribal Police Officer: “What law is that Sarge?”
Tribal Police Sargeant: “Kid you are really green ain’t you..how long you been out of the Tribal Police Academy? Eight days? Two weeks at the most? Never mind, let me list to your their lawful violations:
1. Illegal landing..this airstrip was not design to accommodate a plane that size;
2. Illegal parking of plane, again this airstrip is not design for a plane of that size;
3. Obstruction, that plane is now a hazard cause it is now blocking the runway which prevents other planes from landing;
4. Reckless endangerment..cause as long as they are parked in the runway like that, they put into direct and indirect danger every plane wanting to land at our airstrip;
5. Visa violation…reminds me we gotta get Tribal Immigration here fast, before them folks disappears into the jungle and claim our lands as their own..Our Island Tribe does not issued Visa On Arrival;
6. Custom violation…hmmm. hope the customs guys with Greko is on their feet and all..this crowd definitely have some contraband items with them!;
7. Littering..Watambe ain’t much anymore than a dead carcass on the runway and that my fellow is littering; and lastly;
8. Violation of Tribal Code 101 otherwise known as the “Illegal Possession and Display of Ugly Faces!”.
Damn look at those mugs! the horror of interacting with all those ugly dudes! Pale skin, large noses and wearing clothes! YUCK! Well, come on Poki, lets cite these guys and get it all over with”
OMG this is hilarious. you have really outdone yourself this time, Jago (:
I agree!
“Newly-Minted Tribal Lawyer”?
“Ritual Circumsion”?
“Littering” with Priest Corpses?
This all puts a new edge on “You’re in Good Hands with AllState”, don’ it? And Jago is the Current Candidate for Mayhem!
Or as Sledge Hammer would say: “Trust me, I know what I’m doing.”
My thanks for the compliment ladies. If I can make anyone laugh at my comments, my good deed in the web is done for the day!
Oh, you done Good, Jago!!
They killed Watambe…..Those Bastards!
That they did Mr. DanMan..you can read Watambe’s last words one panel back in your reply section (Cargo Cult #1 #18)..Poor guy, he was just doing his bit (shown in Panel 3, Cargo Cult #1 #3) turning the pseudo-planes propellers when he got run over..Just wasn’t his day.
Or anyone else’s, so far……
Just to note and to get back on topic that plane showed up out of nowhere and all the countries at war with each in the world at that time had Radar. So depending on what happens next that plane showed up on Radar. xD
That could be bad………
Radar at that time would not have had nearly enough range.
Heck even today I doubt it would have been picked up.